NC Dynasty Warriors IS
by Grimo
Summary: Dynasty Warriors Characters help NCIS solve cases or are suspects. Where the story leads, however, is unbelievable!
1. Chapter 1

NC Dynasty Warriors IS

This is obviously the first chapter, please review.

Chapter One: Who The Heck Are You?

Abbey and Da Qiao were in work early and were _supposed_ to be working hard, but instead were playing with each other's plats. They were both so amazingly gentle in a girly way and shrieked when they pulled each other's plats to hard. After half an hour of hair playing, they ate their chocolate sprinkled donuts and _slowly_ got to work.

DiNozzo was on McGee's computer pretending to be him while chatting to his new girlfriend online, her name was Diao Chan. Ziva snuck up on him with an evil grin on her face, when she got behind DiNozzo and looked at what he was doing, she crossly folded her arms.

'What are you doing?' Ziva whispered angrily, scaring DiNozzo who was laughing at something Diao Chan had wrote.

'Err, just, you know. Um, he wanted me to talk to her for a while.' DiNozzo said awkwardly.

'About underwear?' Ziva asked, wide awake to what he was doing.

'No, just-'

'Hey! What are you doing?' McGee asked walking up to the scene along with Lu Xun. 'That's my computer- and why are you talking to Diao- never mind. Just get off my computer!'

'She likes pink roses and dancing as well,' DiNozzo smiled, forcing Ziva to smile too. 'And said maybe one day we could go to ballet classes together.'

'I, was just , being polite,' McGee said, rather annoyed. 'Anyway-'

'I believe that is your desk over there,' Lu Xun interrupted pointing over at DiNozzo's desk.

'Well, Mr. Kiss My Ass,' DiNozzo beamed. 'Why don't-'

'We got two dead marines,' Gibbs said walking in with a coffee, followed by his shadow, Zhang He. 'Let's go.'

'Oh, so charming,' Zhang He said romantically (believe it or not, Zhang He is a guy, well no one wants to ask him actually). 'How beautiful.' Gibbs looked rather freaked out and walked to the lift a lot faster than usual, the others followed not making any eye contact with Zhang He whatsoever.

At the crime scene, it turned out to be three dead men, but only one was a marine. The other two were a man called Cao Pi, and a man called Pang Tong who had a few supposedly good friends celebrating with wine nearby, basteds.

Two gunshots were found in the marine's head, a few feet away from him was a bloody water pistol. Cao Pi's throat was slit, Pang Tong showed no signs that possible led to death apart from a noogie.

Ducky and Palmer finally arrived with Gan Ning at the wheel driving worse than Ziva. Gan Ning looked funny dressed up as Ducky's second medical examiner (he had combed his hair!).

'That was the worse trip ever,' Ducky announced. 'Mr. Palmer can't read a map and Gan Ning can't tell his right from his left.'

'And who was drinking hot coffee while I was driving like a maniac?' Gan Ning asked in the voice a mother has while talking her baby.

'You,' Palmer said to Ducky in the same voice as Gan Ning. Ducky ignored both of them who high fived each other, and continued to walk on up to the bodies.

Out of nowhere, a fat man did his best to hurl a water bomb at the team. He failed and threw it right in front of him. The water bomb blew up like a deadly bomb, taking the fat man with him. The fat man flies up in the air before crashing back down to the ground (creating a five second earthquake) six feet under the ground.

Everyone, including onlookers stare silently in horror. The silence is broken when a happy Chinese man yells out in joy 'I caught it all on camera!'.

The man is identified to be the fatty fatty boom boom, Dong Zhuo.

Zhang He skips up to the whole created by the fat carcass, during the skip he falls over as he is wearing high heels, nowhere near as good as the Kiss ones. He gets back up all embarrassed but continues to skip successfully to the whole created by the fat carcass.

'Who the heck are you?' A young police officer asked Zhang He who got up in a dance move. 'I'm sorry, milady, but, you really shouldn't be here.'

'It's ok,' Gibbs nods, walking up to the police officer and the nearly in tears Zhang He. '_He's _with me, NCIS.'

'Oh sorry mam, m-man. terribly sorry, I thought you was a guy,' The police officer said going bright red in the face. 'My name is Zhao Yun, I am new. Yeah... Sorry.' Zhao Yun pretended someone called him and headed off to see what no one wanted.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: We Have our man

Gibbs and Zhang He went to check on Ducky, to see if he had anything good.

Gan Ning accidently cut Cao Pi open wrong. Palmer had to try and fix it up as best he could.

'This reminds me of a time,' Ducky said, 'When a young man was trying to cut someone open but skinned him instead. It happened just last week by a young man called, Gan Ning. You haven't learnt from your _last_ mistake?'

'Hey, I never asked _you_ to put sugar in my coffee,' Gan Ning shot back.

'Completely different thing.'

'What'd ya got, duck?' Gibbs asked as he entered with Zhang He right behind him.

'Ah, Jethro, just the man I wanted to see. Ah, now, we haven't found the exact cause of death for Pang Tong yet, well we don't think. Though we have found, other than a noogie, bubble marks on his forehead, most likely from a bubble gun.'

Jethro was slightly confused, 'You're saying, bubbles killed this man?'

'It's a strange world these days, Jethro.'

'What about the others?'

'Well, the Marine, Mark Harmon. He was definitely killed by the two shots to the head. He did put up a decent fight to whoever did this. Now, Cao Pi, we have reasons to believe he was raped before murdered. He had a musical instrument shoved down his throat.'

Palmer suddenly tripped over the table next to the dead Cao Pi. When he got back up, Gibbs and Zhang He were gone.

Sun Quan walked in dressed in a suit, beside him on the left was Zhang Fei who was also wearing a suit (lol). DiNozzo was about to be rude to them when he saw Xing Cai walk up on the other side of Sun Quan. She was wearing what looked like the same whitish looking dress Stevie Nicks was wearing in a part of the song 'Seven Wonders'.

'We're here to see the Director,' Sun Quan announced.

'Of the movie or just of the NCIS?' DiNozzo asked. Sun Quan ignored him.

Gibbs walked in.

'Ah boss,' McGee said half scared, 'Abbey says she's got something for you.'

Abbey was making pancakes with Da Qiao when Gibbs got down there. As usual, there was music playing.

'Gibbs,' Abbey piped up, 'I've got something great for you, you're gonna love it.'

'Want a pancake?' Da Qiao asked, smiling at Gibbs who just ignored her.

'The gun matches one that was just purchased by Zhang Liao two days ago.' Abbey turned to Gibbs, 'We have our man.'

'Good work,' Gibbs kissed Abbey on the cheek, head slapped Da Qiao and left.


End file.
